Updated: Aug 17, 2022
In a relationship, you have the right to set boundaries about your actions, possessions and body. You also have the responsibility of respecting your partner's boundaries. Learning how to set and maintain boundaries is an important part of building healthy relationships.
Setting boundaries can sometimes feel strange and uncomfortable, especially if it's your first time setting boundaries. Why? Because it forces us to speak up and advocate for ourselves.
Boundaries are good though! They create needed emotional or physical space between us and others.
Let's practice setting some boundaries together by looking at deal breakers and deal makers.
What is a deal breaker? A characteristic, behavior, or belief system that would cause you to not pursue a relationship or friendship or end it. Take out your phone or a notepad and write down your top three deal breakers.
Here's an example of my top deal breakers:
Deal breaker #1: Dishonesty
Deal breaker #2: Different values and beliefs
Deal breaker #3: Hates dogs
It's important to note that if you do not hold true to your deal breakers, that is when power and control can seep into your relationships. Trying to change someone to fit your standards is not caring, it is controlling. Alright so you have your deal breakers? Let's move onto deal makers.
What is a deal maker? A characteristic, behavior, or belief system that are most important to you in a dating partner or friend. Take out your phone or notepad again and jot your deal makers down.
Here's an example of my top deal makers:
Deal maker #1: Good sense of humor
Deal maker #2: Someone who is empathetic
Deal maker #3: Someone who is kind to me and others
Do you have your deal makers down? If so, congrats you just set boundaries!